January 4, 2026 Lanterns of Flames

I love this video short. It is part of one of my videos on my website Dswh33360Journey.com. Intuition; sometimes I don’t want to know things. Someone once said I was a psychic who didn’t want to be one. I can only handle good things unless it is my own dark humor I’ve developed. The video has lanterns of flames; a waterfall and a beautiful lodge balanced on rockery above the falls. Sometimes there is a fire within me that draws me to something only to be something that I can’t help but run away from.  

When I was a tiny girl, my mother brought in a photographer to take portraits of my older brother and I. I’m naturally intensely shy so he couldn’t take a photo of me because I would run away and then peek in to watch. The photographer was smart. He brought in my older brother and pretended to take lots of pictures of him until I got jealous of my brothers' attention. I snuggled up beside my brother where the photographer was able to get photos of me. 

I’m afraid I’m still the same person. I’ve adapted for survival in the world so that I can work and live, but I’m still that shy child on the inside. It can be a life-changing fear where I can’t say yes to a wonderful future. I think the heavens can use me though. 

I’ve been struggling with weight issues most of my life with reprieves here and there if I have a goal in mind. I’m presently seeking medical help with this, through WW to see if this is a goal I can accomplish in 2026. My weight has always been a cushion from social interaction for me from the outside world. I’m sensitive; I still get that interaction; I’m lying to myself. I think people sense my shyness and are curious. My husband is my watcher. With him beside me, I feel I can venture out socially and feel safe.  

I think I will be taking my class this quarter. I’ve had to dig deep to ask myself “why?” to this 24 hour a week commitment. I didn’t have an answer other than, “if you don’t play then you can’t win”; a old gambler’s saying. I’m always in for a little gamble, if it is the right one. “What would I be winning?” That answer will need to come with time. I’m getting As, but the math classes are scrambling my artistic brain. At least that’s what it feels like. 

My class, my weight loss, both gamble for the better; both goals that make me excited. I will share what I discover throughout the journey. Thank you.